happiness is finding the place where being yourself is exactly what's needed

Monday, March 28, 2011

the psychology of bread mold and those who befriend it

i'm this kind of person:

if something seems a bit off to me, i'll assume that the other people around know better than i do and that it must be that way for a reason.

this leads to me asking questions like "do you realize there's a piece of bread with things growing from it on top of your microwave?"

this causes friends to occasionally give me that "why are you being such a dick?" face.

but, in reality, i was seriously wondering if you needed it for something.

for all i know, it could part of some scientific or artistic project. or perhaps it's a psychology experiment to see who notices and how they react.

the last thing i want is to throw it away and then you walk in 10 minutes later and you're like "oh my god, what happened to my pet bread mold?! Fred, Fred, where are you?!"

anyway, there is a cream cheese container that is partly full of cream cheese and partly full of fridge water drip sitting in the back of the fridge here. it appears about to overflow into the rest of the fridge.

now, i might be a jerk for not getting rid of it, but whatever psychological disorder i have (likely one so weird you can't even find it in the DSM IV) reminds me that i don't know why it's there.

maybe there's a leak in the fridge somewhere and it's very important that that container stays right where it is or the whole house will get flooded.

it's much more likely that the person who lives here just never opens his fridge. afterall, what single person who lives alone ever uses things like refrigerators? i certainly didn't bother with groceries and such when i had my own place.

i'm the one who was like "let's buy some rice milk to put in coffee." so, when i'm fixing my coffee, i notice the little microbe swimming pool, but i always forget to ask about it.

this isn't my house, so what right do i have to interfere with the environment. one small disturbance might disrupt the whole ecosystem.

my only hope is that when the DSM V comes out in 2o13, it will have some answers for me.

for now, just keep in mind that i'm the person who just said i washed my undies in the bathroom sink. when i had my own apartment i threw my the laundry in the bathtub while i showered and then stomped it clean like i was making wine. (this saved me a lot of quarters.)

in other words, if there's ever been a "certain way people do things" i don't know of it. don't take anything i ever say as a criticism. i got a D in Home Ec in middle school, and i'm pretty sure i haven't learned anything since then.

besides that trick where you put vegetable oil in the pan to keep your macaroni and cheese from turning into a macaroni and cheese mush clump.


  1. That's so funny! I'd probably say something like, "so when will your science project in the back of the fridge be ready?" Or else I'd just throw it away! They would probably never notice that it was gone.

  2. Ok, I just want to know who you hang out with that names the mold Fred...lol ;)

  3. Ha! Loved this. Brought back horrid memories of my sewing/cooking disasters in Home Ec. *shudders*. I'm like you...would have left it there until it grew legs and walked away on its own.

  4. I'm that kind of person too.

  5. I've got black cream cheese in my fridge right now. It's hard to give up a thing. Especially when it's taking up the space that would be otherwise empty.

  6. There's a trick to not having mac-and-cheese lump loaf?